As I was rummaging in my old files that was neglected for a couple of years and buried in to cobwebs, I found a sorta-blue colored paper that was folded in a secure way that I could never have done. Attached to it is a small note that was folded in the same way as the first, making sure that it won’t fall on the wrong hands as if it hid a secret message. On the cover of that small piece of parchment embed the name, Vivi in a familiar hand-writing that only I (or any of my friends or classmates would know since this person is renowned for being intelligent, soft-spoken, and highly intelligent. Did I say intelligent twice?). The mention of her name will make you feel a surge of nostalgic happy memories because to me, that’s who she is. Intrigued of who might this person be? You have to read through the end to know who this lady is. Wouldn’t that be more exciting?!
Let me start about the letter she gave me five years ago. Better yet, let’s start to why she gave me that letter. I was in my sophomore year taking up nursing in a reputable school in Davao City. Fresh from a heartbreak that I thought was impossible to forget. I had my fair share of heart breaks and that could be one of the worse blow in the history of my passionate encounters of love, since then I vowed to disown men and hate them for their existence. During this moment of grief, I’m grateful to God for the gift of friends since they’re the only one that I could talk too and vent out my feelings. I was worried that they would be complacent but they never did. Instead, they listened to my continuous anguish until I could no more cry. Let’s cut to the chase and fast forward to the day that this mysterious lady gave me this letter. In her note, she told me that this letter made her realize a lot of things about love. I quote, “Being the fairy tale believer that I am, I know that I too will have my very own happy ending… soon. I hope that you would find inspiration in this letter. Stand up strong because there is also someone out there waiting for you.” Those are her exact words. I read it over and over again so many times that it made me smile whenever I feel lonely, loveless, and alone.
Letter to the one GOD has prepared for Me
“I am wondering at this very minute if you are thinking of me, if like me, you are wondering what is taking us so long to find each other. Many times I thought I finally found you only to be disillusioned by the fact that my wait has not yet ended. I get up each morning hoping, dreaming, longing to meet you. I am thinking of how we will meet, would it be as romantic as the ones I have seen in movies? Or is it possible that I have known you all my life but we have yet to realize that we are meant for each other? Oh, how I wish you were here right now because you are the only one who has the answers to all my questions. Sometimes, I ask myself if I have ever really known love. I do not have the answer to that question either but I believe that more often than not, we will never really know what love is until we find that right person… and since I have not found you yet, then maybe I do not really know what love is! You just don’t know how often I dream of finally knowing what it feels like to be in your arms. Even at this very moment I am imagining how you will simply sweep me off my feet! Perhaps I would be drawn to you by your smile, or your eyes, or maybe even how you manage to make me laugh by your silly little ways! I don’t really know for sure but I am praying that God will help me recognize you when the right time comes. I think of all the pain that I have gone through in the past and of how much I have cried since the day I began my search. I just wanted you to know that I find my strength in clinging onto my vision of the beautiful life ahead of me – the life I shall spend with you. In my mind and in my heart I know that you are worth all that pain and sacrifice. After all, the tears have become a part of my life and I believe that they are slowly washing away my flaws so that I would become perfect, not perfect in its truest sense, but perfect – for YOU! I wonder if you’ve gone through so much pain as well. I wonder if you’ve been hurt so many times along the journey. But my dearest one, please don’t ever give up because I am right here… patiently waiting for you! I assure you that when we finally find each other I would slowly heal those wounds by my love. At night, I would look out my window and stare at the beautiful sky, hoping that somehow you are also looking up and wondering about me. I utter a silent prayer and send all my cries to the heavens above thinking in time they would reach you. And when I feel impatient, I just close my eyes and believe that you are on your way and that you are longing to see me as well. It is funny but when I finally fall asleep, it is still you that I think of, for you are always in my dreams. It seems that, for now, that is the only place where I can hold on to you, long enough to tell you how much I love you. In my dreams you would kiss away my fears and wrap me with your arms of love. And this, all the more, makes me want to wake up and face the new day ahead with the hope that soon enough, you will no longer be a dream but a reality and once again I am assured that you are worth the wait. And when that time comes, everything will fall into its place, just as I had imagined, just as I had thought and dreamed, just as I had believed it would be! By then, I would simply look back and smile to all that I have gone through, in spite of the pain and amidst the simple joys of life – and I would be very thankful because they all led me to you! In the meantime, take care of yourself for me. Hold on to our dream and don’t even think of letting go. Believe in your heard that we will find each other no matter what happen. God has planned the course and it is up to us to follow the directions. Don’t worry, don’t be afraid about getting lost, God saw to it that all roads, no matter which one you choose to follow, lead to me.”
Five Years Later…
You might wonder if I found true love and eternal happiness after reading the letter, sadly… No, however, my hope of finding the man who can “sweep me off my feet” exist triumphantly, shining radiantly amidst the darkness that looms in the back of my head that I might end up as an old-maid someday. Took a couple of heartaches, gloomy nights, impulsive urge to consume sugary treats, too many romantic novels and movies before I was able to find the man who made me feel complete, who loves me more than I love him, who sees me in his future as a wife and a mother to our (future) kids, who’s ready to protect me from people who makes me cry, and say comforting words to me when I’m at my lowest. His ways are overwhelming and made me realize that he’s MORE than what I want. And for that, I realize that God really works in mysterious ways. He listens to your prayers and gives you MORE than what you ask for. All He asks is for you to be patient.
The Mystery Girl
So, I guess you guys are curious who gave this letter to me huh? Well, let me tell you that she’s one of my closest friends and I see her as my sister (since I don’t have one). She’s none other than (drum roll please!) Janine (told you, she’s intelligent).
I want to include a note of thanks here but I guess I’ll make that in another post — when the right time comes. All I can say is I’m damn lucky to have friends like Janine (that goes for Vera, Hazel, Rosalyn, and Eloiza, too!). Thank you girls!